I just finished reading my friend Brynn's blog, Coconut Water. The post is entitled "Expat Mashochists." Certainly something I can relate to right now.To give you a little background, Brynn and I have been friends since we were about 13. We went out separate ways in college - she to American University in D.C., and I went to Wesleyan College in Macon. She got further and further away from home...had a summer in Croatia, a semester in Morocco, and a semester in India. I got closer and closer to home...moved to Milledgeville, then back in with my parents for nursing school. Brynn and I met over chips and queso dip at Frontera in the summertime and discuss her worldly adventures.
Towards the end of her time at AU, she met a handsome Brazilian fellow, fell in love, and moved to Brazil...then they got married :) So, she's a total hardcore expat. She made a permanent move to a place where she didn't know the language. I'm kind of an Expat Light. We're here temporarily, and almost everyone speaks English. My admiration for her has grown tremendously since we moved here!
In her most recent blog post, she talks about "volunteering for banishment." People always tell me "I could never move that far away from my family." You know what? I bet you could. I don't possess a super power that enables this be to easy. Joe and I love our families just as much as you love your families.
The difference in our situations? We had a need to fulfill, we saw an opportunity, prayed about it, stepped over the imaginary boundaries we'd created for ourselves, and just kept moving forward.
The pains of separation really set in around Halloween. The pictures of pumpkin patches, carving jack-o-lanterns, and trick or treating made me sad that we wouldn't get to partake in any of those activities this year. 4 days later was my birthday. Then the weather started getting cooler at home. I imagined seeing Colin run around in our back yard, crunching the leaves and chasing Dakota. Now it's the week of Thanksgiving and I'm really feeling the homesickness.
Is it better here than at home? I choose not to ponder that question.
I have moments where I want to, but I refrain. I have moments of satisfaction that I've been resourceful or creative in ways I never would have experienced at home. I have teary moments. I have a tiny human who smiles and makes it all ok. I have a husband who I like to spend time with. I have a desert on one side, a beach on the other, and a list of things to see and do that most people will never experience in their lifetime.
I keep going back to the notion that the right thing isn't always the easiest thing.
This Thanksgiving, I'm grateful for something I've always taken for granted: the chance for the whole family to gather around one table.
I'm thankful that the country we call home allows me to walk around wearing whatever I please, worship wherever I please, kiss my husband wherever I please, and buy a bottle of wine whenever I please. I will no longer gripe about the ban on Sunday alcohol sales.
I'm thankful that family and friends have always been within driving distance. New Jersey, Brownsville, Charlotte, Fayetteville, Murfreesboro, Ft. Walton Beach, Tampa, and Tallahassee don't seem so far away anymore.
I'm thankful for the awesome opportunity to stay home with Colin for these few months.
I won't ask anyone to understand our reasons for moving 8,000 miles away, because I don't think we fully understand, either. However, I hope that our journey will inspire you to look beyond your comfort zone, and experience things that make you really appreciate how much you have waiting for you when you come back home.
Happy Thanksgiving from Dubai!
"The right isn't always the easiest thing."
ReplyDeleteSo very, very true. I think that is one of the most sobering adult realizations a person can have. The upside is that often the "thing" proves easier than we thought or we surprise ourselves and prove stronger, or as you mentioned more creative and resourceful, than we ever imagined.
For me, one of the greatest things about traveling and living abroad is what you learn about yourself. I've learned much more about myself than I did about Morocco or India. In terms of culture, as an American, I don't think you can really know what it means to be an American until you have spent time outside of the US and see what truly makes your country different. I'm thankful for being able all the learning opportunities I've had in my life.
I'm also thankful for my friendship with a wonderful woman that has lasted from Peer Leading to Expat blogging. : )
Happy Thanksgiving Kristina!